Just a few years ago JOY wasn't my normal.
I wasn't sad or mad . . . I wasn't anything. I was going along and trying to live the "good life" everyone talked about. Degree, marriage, child, nice home in a good school district, as well as the status job, car, clothes, and all the other trappings. I threw parties where all the "right" people came and had a good time. By all outside observations, I was living the dream.
However, I felt dead. Maybe dead is too harsh a word. Perhaps numb is better.
The opposite of JOY isn't sadness, it is numbness. And numbness was my normal.
Are you feeling numb, too?
The beginning of my wake up call was when everything fell apart: the job, the house, the car, and the "friends" all fell away.
When I got over the initial shock, I was relieved. I always knew I was trying to live a life that I didn't want. I lived a life that wasn't mine to live. In that moment, I was given an opportunity to rebuild my life on my terms.